Balls of Steel™: When Your Writing Life Needs Rescuing

Grab your coffee. It’s confession time.

I haven’t written an article in over a year.
I failed at NaNoWriMo … twice.
I have been writing researching a historical fiction novel for three years.
I just lied. It’s been four.
I haven’t touched Final Draft in … I don’t remember when.
I feel like a hack.

There, I said it. And I’m not taking it back.

This post is brought to you by a writer who feels guilty as hell, but also knows there are other artists feeling a bit lost, too. A bit over their heads. A bit … stuck in a ditch.

It’s not writer’s block—my novel spins in my head constantly. It’s more like the internal GPS is permanently cemented on extinguishing life’s fires—the day job (or jobs in my case), renovating a house, moving, launching a small press, volunteering for the umpteenth local committee, or running a cemetery. Yes, you read that last one right. Don’t ask.

If only AAA had a tow truck to yank us out of life’s ruts.

In a recent #scriptchat, multiple people shared that my old Balls of Steel articles had given them the courage to write their first screenplay. To be honest, their declarations jarred me. I used to love writing my weekly column, and never thought I’d stop, even after leaving Script to work for Pipeline Media Group. But now? My steel has rusted. I could use some of that old courage and a good kick in the ass!

So, I went back and read a few. Damn. I was prolific at this. What happened?

Life. That’s not an excuse. It’s a reality. Sometimes life has a way of grinding your dreams and passions to a screeching halt. A big F.U. to your artistic priorities, forcing you to focus on making money, or taking care of your elderly parents, or … insert your own massive to-do list here.

Writing gets paused because, frankly, more important, time-sensitive emergencies have to be dealt with—some unpredictable, some self-made, and many lingering for years before you can be free from their grip. Mine are a little of both. But personally, I knew I needed some drastic change in order to live a better life. And when I’m living a better life, I’ll become a more self-aware writer. At least that’s what I kept telling myself.

The reality is, change takes time and patience wears thin.

"Patience," according to the good old dictionary:

The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

Good luck with that, kids.

I always took my writing time for granted, but that time is a true luxury. A blessing. Something not everyone consistently has, week after week. Time truly is our most valuable asset (OK, health, too, but that’s another article).

It’s easy to get jealous of those prolific writers, feeling the sting when they announce their novel release dates, cover reveals, or screenwriting contest successes. Sure, we cheer them on, but we can’t help but compare our own journey with theirs. (Side note: I loathe the word “journey.”) Yet those boasting authors aren’t immune to life’s roadblocks either. They probably just don’t publicly share their fears or struggles, but they exist for every single person.

We aren’t alone.

I used to believe not having time to write was just a lazy excuse. Oh, yes, I have judgmentally written about it, too. “Make the time!” I’d holler, as if it were a simple choice.

Another confession: I was wrong.

No writer is exempt from life’s unexpected events—sudden death of a loved one, getting laid off, children, etc. Not everything is within your control.

Let me say that again: Not everything is within your control.

Hold on that a moment and really let your heart hear it.

You never know what’s going to push you off that bridge, where all you can think about is mere survival, shoving your creativity aside while you claw your way out.

How do you find the escape route? One day, you’ll see a teeny, tiny glimmer of light. Run toward it, Carol Anne! Even if all you can do is spend five minutes basking in its rays. It might fade quickly, but the light will return, a little brighter each day.

The past three years, I literally have not had a minute to spare. Truly. Just ask my family. But life finally calmed a bit, allowing me to breathe. Think. Reconnect with myself. Get inspired. Today, I woke at 6:00 a.m. to pen this article before opening my antique shop (oh, yes, I have a small business on top of the job I love at Pipeline … long story. See “unexpected” above).

How you get out of that ditch is up to you.

Being temporarily sidelined is not the end of your writing dreams. Nor is feeling like a hack. Trust me, no one judges you. Those doubts you’re feeling are coming from within. Even if you caught a side-eye sneer from someone, your identity is not found in other people’s opinions of you. They can piss off.

Sure, you could let this be “FADE OUT,” or you could believe in yourself. Believe that you haven’t lost the gift. Pausing your writing does not change who you are. You are a writer. Don’t let those hack feelings take over. You haven’t lost yourself forever.

As one of my best friends says about life's troubles, “It ain’t nothing but a thing.” And that thing will pass.

Every day, every minute, every hour, is an opportunity. 

Yes, I’m writing this as much for myself as for you. I needed the reminder. Also, writing articles stretches my atrophied writing muscles before I jump back into the novel. The more I stretch, the less anxious I get about starting that marathon again. Write something small. Anything!

Many lessons have come to me since I left the helm of Script. The biggest being that you can do far more than you realize, but that doesn’t mean you have to do everything asked of you. 

A fellow creative recently posted, “I had to learn that just because I have the skill to do something does not mean I have to be the one to DO it."

Wow. That was the head-smacking 2x4 I needed.

“No” is not a dirty word. You know what happens when you say “no”? They just find someone else who will say “yes.”

I’ve given the following advice countless times, but it’s worth repeating: No one ever died hearing the word “no.” Start saying it. Give yourself the grace and love you’d readily give to someone else.

I took a hard look back at the last 20 years when I first decided to write. My number one goal was to write a novel, but I allowed myself to get pulled into screenwriting to satisfy someone else’s dream and wrote a few scripts as their writing partner. Then more scripts with other partners. I have no regrets about that shift. I learned a lot from them and from that process. But I do deeply regret putting aside my aspirations of authoring a novel.

It’s time. Time to recalibrate that GPS toward my own dreams.

Ask yourself what ignites emotion in you? What boils inside you that you ache to pour on the page and share with the world? Start there. Even if nothing gets put on the page, mull it over in your mind while you tackle life's challenges.

Make bullet lists of ideas to keep the creative juices flowing. I even started using a huge, yearly planner to organize my obligations, but I also slapped post-it notes on the cover for those random creative ideas—it works wonders!

I am confident I will write this novel. And since my storytelling began in screenwriting, I plan on using the reboot of Balls of Steel to drag you on this journey adventure with me. Who knows, maybe you’ll decide to jump in and adapt your script to a novel.

Another side note: Post WGA strike, the industry is still a bit unsteady. Casting more nets out by writing in other mediums might be a great way to stay sane. Just sayin’.

We undoubtedly might still end up in a few ditches, but know there’s a way out. Just push … hard. You might need the help of a few friends. Consider this your shove.

I’m ready to sand the rust off my steel and put my dreams first again. 

Remember, doubts and insecurities will arise. Don’t let that shame you. Just breathe and reboot. It ain’t nothin’ but a thing.

Join Jon James Miller, award-winning screenwriter, novelist, and professional story editor, to learn the tools necessary to take advantage of brands and characters everyone knows and loves to shine a limelight on their own original work.