And Then This Happened… ‘Napoleon’ Script Review

Bio scripts are notoriously hard to write. There’s always the desire to simply show all the cool stuff that happened in a person’s life, without providing the audience with any sense of perspective, or context.

There is no greater example of this desire overcoming basic screenwriting structure and resulting in a train wreck of a movie than Napoleon.

This script falls into every biopic trap. As a result, this is not really a movie, in the traditional sense. It is a series of moments in a possibly crazy French dude’s life, including some wonderfully staged battle scenes.

Rather than understanding who Napoleon was, what drove him, what formed him, and how his strengths and weaknesses somehow allow us to reflect on our own humanity, (ie, an actual movie), we get a biopic that is all ‘and then this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened.’ With no linking material even attempting to tie it all together.

I saw a billboard promoting the movie that read, "He came from nothing, he conquered everything." I’m sure the marketing team was psyched with that one. So catchy. But clearly, no one saw the movie. He came from nothing? Did he? How do we know that? None of his past is in this script. Nothing. We meet Napoleon when he’s apparently youngish, helping to defeat the British at a seaport. I say apparently youngish because Joaquin Phoenix looks like the same middle-aged man throughout all the moments across decades explored here. Even down to the look in his eye that seemed to be wondering when he could go home.

We, the audience, learn almost nothing about the man. Instead, we get constantly told, in almost rhythmic style, that he was great at winning battles, and was really into Josephine but that relationship was…let’s go with fraught. Then he gets really into Josephine getting pregnant.

Josephine meanwhile, apparently was not really into old Nappers, and then apparently became really into him after one of I presume many affairs. I think. She was sad she couldn’t have a baby. I think. But was still eyeing off other dudes during hubby’s ascension to Emperor, so I can’t say for sure where her head was at because it was never even remotely explored after their initial exchange.

Here’s an example of a missed opportunity. In one scene, an advisor of Napoleon suggests he make himself King. He laughs self-deprecatingly, implying that option is ridiculous. Next scene, he’s being installed as Emperor. What changed your mind Nappers?? What???

Not any of the characters or relationships are explored in any human way. At times some of the exchanges are accidentally hilarious…as are what I think you could call sex scenes. Nothing, and I mean nothing, provides any insights into what was clearly a complex human being in a complex relationship with his wife and country.

Which means if you are thinking about writing a bio script about some super cool historical figure, you should definitely watch Napoleon. It is a beautiful example of what NOT to do.

If you find yourself wanting to include scenes just because something amazing happened – think about context. Think about emotional journeys. Think about how that cool moment had an impact on who that person is, or was, or went on to be. How did it change them, or their journey, and how does it relate to the aspect of the human condition you want to explore with this story? Just like any regular movie. And then SHOW US.

Or – make a really cool documentary.

Simply lining up events, one after the other, with lots of carriage arrivals (so many), and battles, and paying almost no attention to anything else (oh, but apparently he really loved Josephine. I think) leads to a movie an audience really can’t connect with.

I’ve read Director Ridley Scott re-wrote the script after notes from his leading man. I hope that’s not true, but if it is – then my apologies to Mr. Scarpa, whose name is on the poster for a failure of a script, and a movie that looks great, and misfires completely.

Watching people doing stuff you can google does not equal an emotionally rich, satisfying experience for an audience. Never has, and never will, no matter how much money you spend, or how many soldiers you throw at it.