LEGALLY SPEAKING, IT DEPENDS: Hollywood Holiday

Christopher Schiller is a NY transactional entertainment attorney who counts many independent filmmakers and writers among his diverse client base. Follow Chris on Twitter @chrisschiller.

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Taking into account the season of the year, this time my article takes a vastly different turn. But, because no one is around to tell me I can't, I present to you a poem titled, Hollywood Holiday. Enjoy.

While the rest of the world readies its tinsel and glitter,
Or digs itself in for frosty days and nights so bitter,

Some seem to think that because there are always movies showing,
And industry engines are relentless, always glowing,

That the Hollywood hills hold holly only in their name,
Seasonal tidings have no purchase in its Walk of Fame.

But those thoughts are in error and one observant will find,
A Hollywood Holiday exists, at least of a kind.

There's no snow on the palm trees, the temperature barely dips,
All those wanna-be actresses still bus tables for tips.

But something in the air heralds the holiday's approach,
Maybe unnoticed by personal trainer or life coach.

A subtle shift has occurred, if you look closely you'll see,
Hints here and there, changes from how things normally would be.

The lines at the Starbucks are just a bit shorter within,
(Though the clicking of keyboards remains as a background din.)

The 405's almost a highway with its quickened pace,
Seems fewer rats are driving in the usual rat race.

You might get a table without reservations (aghast!)
And your food might arrive as ordered, piping hot and fast.

Though still jaded and curmudgeony the season seeps in,
The hearts of even those who you'd doubt had hearts to begin.

But soon finding an Exec nears impossible to do,
Nearly all have closed shop, left town or in some way withdrew.

The business of show all at once at this time shuts down,
Those few who remain can find hardly anyone around.

There's still life in some areas, it's not completely dead,
Mostly underlings who can't leave 'cause they need to make bread.

Mail rooms still trash unsolicited writers' submissions,
Assistants still man phones and desks in lonely conditions,

Marketers check numbers in hope of Blockbuster wishes,
Studio commissaries still have to clean the dishes,

Payroll paychecks still need to be written, sent out and cashed,
Though residual ones are usually so small they're trashed.

Some try to make the best. Stunt people can take time to heal,
Actors take more classes and workshops, or work on their reel.

But try to get business done during holidays? It's hard,
Better to delay the meeting, maybe send them a card.

You may luck into someone in their office by some chance,
Rest might as well hang signs saying, “Closed 'til after Sundance.”

Happy Hollywood Holidays from
Christopher Schiller

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