INDIE SPOTLIGHT: An Interview with 2023 SXSW Independent TV Pilot ‘A Guide To Not Dying Completely Alone’ Creator and Actor Kevin Yee
The show’s creator, showrunner, writer, and star, Kevin Yee, recently spoke with Script about why it was the right time for him to write this show, making it now on his own terms, his writing journey to discovering his voice, and how music informs his writing.
A Guide to Not Dying Completely Alone follows a gay Asian writer who passes out in a gay bar bathroom, wakes up in the hospital, and realizes he is detached from society. Terrified of dying alone, he decides to change his life for the better and chronicles his journey in a book he writes called "A Guide To Not Dying Completely Alone!" A bitchy "Eat, Pray, Love" for 2022, this show is about mortality, forgiveness, and starting over, all from a gay Asian perspective. But it isn't about our differences, it's about what makes us similar. And it isn't about dying, it's about how to live.
In the golden age of streaming, one has easily adapted to binge-watching new shows, especially shows that deeply resonate but also offer different perspectives and walks of life unlike your own. Unfortunately, you can't binge-watch A Guide to Not Dying Completely Alone (at least, not yet!) as there's only a pilot episode in current existence that'll be premiering at SXSW's Independent TV Pilot Program on March 12, 2023, at Alamo Lamar A.
While this particular self-help book "A Guide To Not Dying Completely Alone!" doesn't physically exist on your local bookstore shelves (at least, not yet!) there is a lot to gleam - and two of the biggest takeaways are hope and taking the first step for yourself.
The show's creator, showrunner, writer, and star, Kevin Yee, recently spoke with Script about why it was the right time for him to write this show, making it now on his own terms, his writing journey to discovering his voice, and how music informs his writing.
This interview has been edited for content and clarity.
Sadie Dean: This story, the pilot, the book – all incredibly relevant and topical, especially for those in their mid-30s, or early 40s – the feeling of being disconnected and overwhelmed. First question, does this book exist?
Kevin Yee: [laughs] The book does not exist, but wouldn't it be helpful, because as I was going through my own kind of moment with this, and then within the pandemic, I was reading a lot of these self-help books, and they're just, I don't connect with them. I think sometimes they're ridiculous [laughs] what they're asking of us, but maybe I'm too much of a realist. And so, I struggle with them, but I would love one that's kind of like…bitchier.
Sadie: [laughs] Yeah, more real.
Kevin: [laughs] Just more real would be helpful. For sure.
Sadie: Where did the impetus for this story come from and then wanting to make this into a TV show?
Kevin: Sure, well, I actually wrote this, maybe five or six years ago, I was in my earlyish mid-30s. And I just found that in my 30s, I knew less about life than in my 20s. In my 20s, I was really confident, I was a performer. I've always been in show business. And I was a go-getter. And then in my 30s, I made a transition from being in New York, Broadway world to being in LA, and kind of trying to explore what my voice was, as opposed to like who I was within other roles. And it was difficult.
The transition here was quite difficult. The first, I would say, four to five years, I didn't work at all, but I was also still trying to find my voice. But there was also this change in me this lack of like, dreaming almost where everything became really practical. And I started to look around and I realized how detached I was from society because I had been so career oriented for so long. I had also been away from my family for a very long time, they're all in Canada. And so, I was starting to miss them in a way that I'd never missed them before. And of course, in my 30s a lot of my friends were getting married and having kids and moving on from this showbusiness dream that we'd all had when we were younger.
And so, I started to wonder what it would be like to change my life around and could I, because the alternative and it is in the title, but the alternative is that I would die alone. There were long periods of time where nobody would call me, nobody would check in on me and I was living in LA and I was like, ‘if I died, would anybody find me?’ And it got very morbid. But I think that is also kind of a rational thought to be honest [laughs] because I’m by myself, you know, I choke on a chip, right? Like, who's gonna find me? [laughs]
I've been a writer for a long time, but I thought, wouldn't that be an interesting conversation? And a lot of times when we're talking about spec scripts and samples, one of the things that I'm always asked for is something authentic, like, where am I in this moment? And beyond the queerness that I have in the Asianess, I found that there was a relatable human question that I was having that I felt like a lot of people my age and a lot of people in the world have in their lives. And that my perspective is probably specific but questioning something in a bigger form.
So, I started to write this pilot, and then it's been in development for like six years, and a lot has happened. And then during the pandemic, that just exacerbated everything. And then I was like, I think it's just time to make it, because I was having a hard time pitching it to Hollywood. And we almost sold it actually to a company in Canada two years ago and the deal fell through and a really kind of absurd way. And so, I just was like, I think it's time for me to just make it and show what it could be. And so that's what I'm showing at SXSW. It's a half-hour drama, it would be in its final form, but all I could afford was the 11-minute version. [laughs] So hopefully somebody picks it up from SXSW.
Sadie: Crossing fingers. How’d you come across your creative collaborators on this? Did you have a director and DP in mind?
Kevin: Well, Yen Tan is the director. And he is pretty prolific in the filmmaking world as a queer Asian director, and he and I actually wrote a movie together - an indie movie that we're trying to sell as well about the queer Asian experience. We wrote it over the pandemic. And when I decided to make it, he was the first person that came to mind, because my sensibility is very much slapstick comedy. And he's very much drama. So, I felt like the mixture of the two was the best way to go forward because I wanted somebody who was comfortable in the quiet moments that I'm not. And I see that in his film work. And so, it was never a question when I decided to make it, he was the person, we'd already been collaborating, I feel comfortable with him, and he understands the representation in a way that I feel like other people wouldn't necessarily.
And then similarly to our cinematographer Joe Han, he's up and coming. He's also Asian-American, and he just visually seemed to bring something really interesting with his work. But the rest of the team, I would say, it just came out of necessity to be honest. [laughs] Those two were the ones that I chose, and I was like, let's get on board. Let's figure out the rest of the team. And then luckily, just through people, I found a producer, and then she found most of the crew. And so, everything came together after that, but I think for me, those were the two most important because I needed the visuals to look a certain way and they accomplished that.
Sadie: With your career, you’ve pretty much done it all as a filmmaker, storyteller, and actor on TV, film, and on Broadway. However, I also noticed in some of your short film work, you were a composer. How much does writing music inform your narrative writing?
Kevin: Oh, absolutely. Music is everything. I started with music. When I was a teenager, I was in a boy band. I don't know if you know that. [laughs] But I was in a failed 90s boy band. We were like, top five on the Disney Channel. And then we were never heard from again. [laughs] But that's how I started writing - I would sit in rooms with some of the biggest producers in the world and watch them work, and write and create music. And so that experience made me a songwriter. And so, I started writing songs. And then YouTube happened. So, I started to make my songs into YouTube videos, and they became silly YouTube videos. And through that, I started to make web series and little shorts. And then my scripts just grew and grew.
I've been a writer since I was a teenager, but it's been a slower process. But music and rhythm have everything to do with my writing. And I even feel the tempo of a script. And that's why for me, I personally like writing half-hours more than hour-longs because I feel the tempo of a three-act better than a five-act. I'm working on it. [laughs] But also the rhythm of the script is, especially for comedy, I feel is so important, but I'm also trying to loosen that a little bit because I realize not everybody sees it that way.
And that's why, like I said, Yen feels like a great collaborator with me. And also, with our other film that we've been working on. It's more of a slice-of-life film than a through-line narrative. So I knew that I needed to bring somebody on that could do the silent moments, because I don't like silence. [laughs] And comedy is so much line to line and rhythm and punch lines. And I can feel it within our episodic, because there were lines that when we edited we took out that it still bothers me, [laughs] because I'm like, ‘that's not the rhythm that I wrote.’ And it's weird too as an actor, because I know that I like to improvise, but I don't like other people improvising my lines. [laughs] Because I wrote it into a rhythm. It’s supposed to sound a certain way. So, I have a double standard with that for sure. [laughs] But that's a great question. And yeah, I definitely feel music and rhythm within scripts. And I think that is important, especially with comedy.
Sadie: Oh, yeah, comedy is all about timing. Totally makes sense. You kind of spoke about this earlier, finding your voice as a writer – what was that like for you in finally being OK with being vulnerable on the page? And now seeing it pay off – your authenticity is opening doors for you.
Kevin: Yeah, that's a good question. I would say a lot of my authenticity comes from writing a lot and often. And having started with the idea that I think Hollywood really forces upon us, that we have to fit into a box, and we have to have a certain type of voice in order to write for Hollywood, more specifically for television, which is what I write because writing rooms are that - it's a hive mind and you have to write within the voice of the room. And so, when I started writing spec scripts, I was really trying to copy, as opposed to telling a story that I could authentically tell.
I was just going through my scripts today, I was trying to clean out my Dropbox [laughs] because it's chaos right now. And I realized how many scripts I started and never finished, how many scripts that I finished that just felt like a slog, felt like a concept that had no authenticity to it. And then eventually, just through trial and error, finding, really this story, this was the first script that I felt was really authentic to me, to my voice. Because a lot of times, especially as an actor, it has to do with your type. So, my type is Asian, and queer. And so, when I was starting to write, I was always like, queer, Asian, whatever, [laughs] you know what I mean, but also, in that representation, it doesn't happen very often. I didn't grow up seeing that representation. I don't even know what that would sound or look like.
And so, with this story, I find it important to my own work, because it is, like I said, something that's relatable, but that is authentic to myself. And I was able to tell my authentic story within a frame that could be seen and have a connective tissue to a wider audience. And so, it becomes a skill to go back and forth, because within my own spec scripts, it is important to me to be clear about my authenticity, my voice, and who I am.
I very rarely write spec scripts that are not about Asianess or queerness, and now it's musical theater - I've added musical theater [laughs] becasue that is my world too! So, I'm like if it's musical theater, queer or Asian - that's my jam. But I think the other truth of it is we are still in an industry that's about commercialism. In the writers’ room, I do have to write within the voice of the show no matter what, even if they brought me in with a very specific script. And that's even when there's a queer Asian character, which I've written for, like every show that I've written for. I've written for three now that they all have queer Asian characters, but I still have to fulfill what the showrunner wants. So, there's still a mixture, and there's not full freedom yet. I am going back and forth with that, but within my own spec scripts, I really think it just was a lot of trial and error, and then that moment clicked. And I understood it when I wrote this script. And now my scripts I think all have a piece of me in it, as opposed to me trying to emulate something that I'm not.
Sadie: And it just makes your writing better and makes you want to finish your projects now, right?
Kevin: Yeah! [laughs] That was the other thing when I was looking. A lot of the projects I didn't finish were ones that were earlier. Now I think I go into writing a spec script with a clearer picture of what I want from it.
Sadie: Once audiences watch this on the big screen at SXSW, what do you hope the takeaway is?
Kevin: Well, the first thing, the title is quite morbid, but I always say that it's not about dying, it's about living. I also don't think that it gives answers, and my goal was not to give an answer about how to live, but I hope that people walk away with hope by watching somebody that can decide to change their lives. I think that sometimes just by demonstrating that it can give someone hope. And so that is my main message within the show.
It was also really important for me to make it, because I wanted to demonstrate what a queer Asian-centered TV show could look like. I've not seen it, we have queer Asian stars now obviously with Joel Kim Booster, Bowen Yang, Nico Santos, but they're always the gay, Asian, best friends - and I felt like one of the difficulties in pitching the show and trying to sell it was telling people what that would look like, because they didn't know. And so, I hope that people can see that diverse voices can be the center of shows, especially ones that we have not heard from before. And lastly, I just hope people are entertained by the whole thing, [laughs] performances and everything.
A Guide To Not Dying Completely Alone SXSW Screenings
Independent TV Pilot Program at Alamo Lamar A
Sadie Dean is the Editor of Script Magazine and writes the screenwriting column, Take Two, for Writer’s Digest print magazine. She is also the co-host of the Reckless Creatives podcast. Sadie is a writer and filmmaker based in Los Angeles, and received her Master of Fine Arts in Screenwriting from The American Film Institute. She has been serving the screenwriting community for nearly a decade by providing resources, contests, consulting, events, and education for writers across the globe. Sadie is an accomplished writer herself, in which she has been optioned, written on spec, and has had her work produced. Additionally, she was a 2nd rounder in the Sundance Screenwriting Lab and has been nominated for The Humanitas Prize for a TV spec with her writing partner. Sadie has also served as a Script Supervisor on projects for WB, TBS and AwesomenessTV, as well as many independent productions. She has also produced music videos, short films and a feature documentary. Sadie is also a proud member of Women in Film.
Follow Sadie and her musings on Twitter @SadieKDean
