Why Three-Hour Movies Suck

Which is why unsigned writers need to ignore long-winded movies. Please. For your sanity, and for your future screenwriting success.

The domain of the three-hour movie is reserved exclusively for male filmmakers (can you name one written/directed by a woman?) who have banked enough career capital to make bloated, self-indulgent demonstrations of industry power, lack of self-discipline, and a declaration they are making movies for themselves, not for anyone else. ‘Mine is bigger than yours,’ anyone?

Let’s be honest here, three-hour movies are not made for an audience of strangers. They are made exclusively to please the filmmaker. Want evidence? How many three-hour movies can you name that were written and directed by different people? I’m talking modern era – not Lawrence of Arabia or Gone with the Wind – both of which would’ve been better if they were shorter.

Let’s not count Avengers: Endgame either – that’s more like the finale of a series, not an actual "movie."

Almost every too-long movie was written and directed by the same guy, at a time in his career where he felt he needed to prove a point or was able to ride his success to grab too much cash and control. And we suffer as a result.

Apparently, these guys get progressively more self-indulgent and self-important. They move from wanting to dazzle strangers with their storytelling skills, to wanting to bludgeon them with their ability to get money and actors and lots of extras to do incredible things. I’m sure the Christopher Nolans, Martin Scorseses, Camerons, and Damin Chazelles (I haven’t forgotten about the train wreck that is Babylon) tell themselves the extra screentime is desperately needed so they can finally tell stories the way they are supposed to be told. What rubbish. The extra time is for them, not us. Just admit it.

Ernest Hemingway apparently turned in 1000-page early drafts of his novels – then worked closely with an editor. There is a book and a movie about the guy. Tell me a 1000-page Hemingway novel would’ve been better than any of the books published? Of course not. That book would’ve been full of bloated drivel, written when Ernie was sauced. So why….WHY…do we let some filmmakers write and direct their version of 1000-page drivel, and not only remove any editor worth a damn, but celebrate the ego-driven dumpster fire when it arrives on the screen?

Any movie over three hours long is the male writer/director’s middle finger to a system he firmly believes has constrained his genius. Despite his success. And wealth. So he stuffs a long-winded mess down our throats so we may choke on his power and hubris.

If you managed to write and direct your first movie – and it was three hours long – how many film critics would receive it graciously? None. How many would mention the run time in the first sentence? All. But if it’s Scorsese? 'Genius.' Nolan? ‘A powerful vision.’ Let’s stop pretending the "rules" are applied equally. And let’s stop thinking that "length equals power" isn’t a thing. A stupid thing, that has nothing to do with the audience.

Established filmmakers who have pleased us over many films are rare, and worth celebrating, but should still be subjected to basic common sense when it comes to their next project. Which includes the question from someone with some power… ’why the f**k does it NEED to be three hours long?' Answer: It doesn’t. Ever.

If you’re reading this and haven’t made a movie, sold a script, or have representation yet – let me offer this earnest plea. Ignore three-hour movies. Watch them if you want, but do not try to emulate them with your first public script.

If you submit a first script to anyone in this industry that’s more than 120 pages long – you may as well light it on fire before sending. You are wasting everyone’s time.

Part of the dance between unsigned writers and the industry is establishing trust and confidence. Getting folks who actually make movies, or represent screenwriters to take you seriously, is really, really hard. Competition is fierce. Delivering a long-winded script screams a lack of self-control and an unwillingness to make creative decisions.

If you must write your long-winded opus featuring elephants, or indigenous people being ruined, or blue indigenous people being ruined, or the history of the atomic bomb with no actual science…go for it. Then print it out, put it in a drawer, and forget about it until you have hit box office gold, more than once, or won an Oscar. At that point, your reps will ask what’s next, and you will slam that script on the table, announce you are now also a director, and a streaming service will probably throw cash at you without even bothering to read it.

Do not bring it out of the drawer before then, and when you do, remind yourself you are not making this film for us, you are making it for you. Because apparently, despite all your success and riches, you still feel like you need to show Hollywood who’s boss.

Self-discipline is a foundation stone of our craft. Delivering a compelling story, with compelling characters and a powerful emotional journey in no more than 110 pages is your singular goal. It’s proof you have control, skill, and discipline, and are someone the industry can trust.

NO ONE needs to make a movie longer than three hours. EVER. Let’s end this nonsense and stop indulging these grandiose, self-important men who keep wanting to prove their vision is bigger and longer than yours.