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Me vs. SXSW/2010 – Who Will Kick the Most Ass?

Can a sassy, film-savvy, eyelash-batting gal truly make SXSW her bitch? This remains to be seen, but we believe round one of the ass-kicking goes to… the fest.
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Let me begin with a hearty “hey y'all” from your hotshot Austinite blogger for the SXSW Film Festival. Yeah, I said it: hotshot. I'm not without skills. But can a sassy, film-savvy, eyelash-batting gal like yours truly make this festival her bitch? This remains to be seen, but I'd say round one of the ass-kicking goes to… the fest.


There's really no way to avoid the puns. They chose to open with a Kick-Ass super spectacular – in honor of the so-titled non-superhero movie covered in Script's March/April issue. Black SUVS with the movie's title scrawled across them rolled up to the red carpet delivering the filmmakers and a few of the stars. (Earlier today Chloe Moretz, the film's 13-year-old scene-stealer, claimed that last night she was stuck in a car during the screening, eating Jack in the Box while the rest of the cast tortured her with texts about the audience's wildly excited reactions.)

Here's the thing about the red carpet for a movie with this kind of cult following: prepare to get clocked in the head with comic books. You'll be standing there, trying to be all civil and not drool over how delicious Mark Millar's smile is as he says, “I've actually been [to Austin] one time before… but I have no memory of it, I was so drunk. So it's kind of like seeing it all for the first time.” But while you will marvel at his charming Scottish brogue, people will keep pushing up behind you, shoving books in his face to be signed. He was rather gracious about it, but I couldn't help but scowl on his behalf.

The cast was rushed past us so quickly that the only real tidbits they had to offer were a general consensus that none of them are drowning in action scripts, so this really appealed to them… The awesomeness of the Wanted books was mentioned a couple of times, as well.

And then there was the movie! It generated the likes of a line to get in that the festival rarely sees. So kick asswas this flick expected to be, in fact, that by the time I wrapped up with the cast, I went to enter the theater and was promptly turned away. Despite the aforementioned eyelash-batting. D'oh! Eager filmgoers had filled the Paramount Theatre to the brim. So I'll have to wait until April to see the movie, just like you guys.

So I wandered the famous Sixth St. with other screening rejects, rode a mechanical bull, like you do in Texas, and then went to the film's after party at Buffalo Billiards. The buzz about the movie was crazy good. I spoke to many repeat fest attendees, and they all said this was their favorite opening film in years. Through mouthfuls of free beer and sliders, the words “intense” and “real” were thrown about a lot. But wait, there's more. Everyone got a keychain Sharpie for forthcoming autograph opportunities, and there was a special emblem attached to it. In case you didn't see my twitpic of this superswag (follow me on Twitter @sassytater), imagine a penis with wings and you've got your image of the keychain I received last night. Since I didn't get into the film, I have no idea what this means. Insight anyone? Do let me know, so I can explain to my dad why my key to his house now features flying genitalia. And with that, I bid you farewell. Free beers are so rampant here I just almost tripped over one. Now I'm going to drink it. - Sara Scott