Should I Give Up the Writers Group I Started?

Welcome to the next installment of “Ask the Coach.” As a writing coach, I answer questions from writers about making the work of writing happen, tackling craft, business, and personal questions along the way. (Have a question you’d like answered? Check the details at the end of the article about how to submit one.)

Today I’m responding to a question about giving up a writing group, or not:

“Should I give up the writers’ group I started? I've been active with writer groups since the late 1950s and have loved it greatly. After retiring, I started a small writers' group in my retirement community. Lately, I am wondering if I should give up the group. I've lost my enthusiasm but confess that it is my only outlet. Several months ago, I decided to write my first screenplay from a novel I had written back in 2004, which won first place in the best-unpublished [local] yearly literary awards. I don't expect anything big to happen, I just wanted to learn the craft of screenwriting to say I could do it, ha. I am almost finished with my first spec. However, after reading the “Procrastination” article today, I admit I am doing just that. I’m not a quitter by nature, but I can't seem the get the job done!”

Writing groups can be wonderful places to feel connected to other writers who get you, cheer for you, and encourage you to keep moving ahead with writing. Writing groups can also become performative, perfunctory, burdensome, or even become a substitute for writing. As someone who has led multiple groups over time, I can relate to some of the challenges you may be facing.

And, let’s acknowledge how long you’ve participated in writing groups: Since the 1950s! That’s a lifetime of commitment and dedication to writing. Congratulations are in order, to be sure.

Let’s begin by looking at the larger issues that are buried in your question: 1) Losing your enthusiasm for writing, and 2) having your writing group functioning as your “only outlet.” 

Losing enthusiasm for writing may originate in several ways. Let’s lay out the possibilities — including the effects of your writing group — and see what might resonate for you.

1. You might be nearing the end of your script, and resistance and procrastination are rising to “keep you safe” from taking the risk of putting it out there. I remember so clearly getting to the end of a major revision of my first screenplay. I stood in the kitchen, talking to my husband, telling him how “I just feel done — I’m over it” and felt ready to move on to my next shiny new script idea. But knowing what I know about resistance and hearing myself say those words out loud was enough for me to catch on that I was giving into resistance and the underlying fear that was lurking beneath it: I didn’t want to finish, because finishing was going to mean that I had to share it with others and get feedback on it. With my eyes opened to resistance’s tricks, I finished the script.

Check-in with yourself. Are you not finishing because you fear what that might mean? Promise yourself you can deal with that later — after you finish.

2. You might be feeling burned out by running a writing group for others. There’s a kind of psychic responsibility a leader assumes when forming a writing group. When you’re in charge of coordinating other writers and keeping them moving forward, this sense of responsibility can sometimes affect your ability to keep yourself in action. It’s hard enough to overcome your own resistance, let alone keep other writers writing too. It’s possible that your capacity for writing and navigating resistance and procrastination might be at maximum already. That said, if you don’t want to give up the group, there are ways to share the work more equitably, which I’ll share below.

3. You may have other responsibilities or challenges affecting you. Writing doesn’t happen in a vacuum. We’ve been through and are going through so much globally right now, plus we each have whatever personal things we have happening on our plates, like jobs, children, parents, family, other relationships, health issues, financial pressures, etc. In my own life, I’ve discovered that I’m processing some undealt grief which has affected my writing.

4. You may be processing feedback about your work. Another tricky place for writers is dealing with feedback about their work. Sometimes even well-intentioned feedback can land poorly and be hard for a writer to take and recover from. (Sometimes even positive feedback is challenging, believe it or not — often because writers then feel they have something impossible to “live up to.” Writers are so creative!) Since many writing groups are structured around feedback, that can be a challenge to navigate and process.

[Ask the Coach: Odds & Ends — Finding Your Voice, Getting Unstuck, and Abandoning Scripts for Books]

5. You may have taken a wrong turn with your script and your intuition is balking. Sometimes a story has gone off the rails and only your deeper intuition is aware of it. This can manifest as a refusal to move forward, which looks an awful lot like resistance and procrastination. How’s that for confusing? Whether it’s a story misstep, a section of the script you find lackluster, or something that just feels off, some part of you may be trying to get your attention and let you know.

Look at where you’ve left off with your script and see if there’s something asking for your attention you’ve perhaps been avoiding.

6. You might be tiring of the story or losing your connection to it. Occasionally, we forget why we started writing a story in the first place and lose our emotional connection to it. But since writing is all about the emotional journey you take your characters, readers, and viewers on, it’s smart to remember how and why you felt drawn to the concept originally. If this is happening for you, take a brief trip down memory lane and remind yourself why you love this story.

Whether it’s nearing the end of the script, burnout from running the group, other responsibilities, feedback processing, your intuition, a lost story connection, or something else, losing enthusiasm just doesn’t feel good.

Track back to the last time you worked on your script or felt enthusiastic about it. What happened? Do any of the above instances fit the bill? Does something else pop out? Sometimes writing about the writing is the way to see more clearly what’s going on. Journaling is your friend here.

You also mentioned that your writing group has become “your only outlet,” which makes me think you’re only writing to prepare for group meetings, or that you’re only connected to these writers, both of which sound limiting. This might be a good time to recommit to your own regular writing practice and perhaps expand into other in-person and online writing connections so you have other ways to connect with your people. A widening of your writerly connections may shift your experience enough to bring clarity to the role you want to play in your current group — or not.

[How Much Do I Need to Develop My Script Before I Start Writing?]

And now, finally, let’s talk about the question you originally asked. Should you give up the writing group you started?

As I mentioned, a certain level of responsibility comes with running a group and being the one who started it. But if that’s become a burden, how can you change that?

Perhaps it’s time to end the group. Or perhaps it’s time for a redesign. You might consider how you can more equably share group responsibilities, if that’s an issue. Or reconsider how you structure and run your meetings. (Some groups get together just purely to write, for example.) Odds are, if you’re feeling like something’s off, others are too. A frank conversation with the other members may well lead to a fresher and more supportive structure everyone can benefit from, or you may find you’re all ready to move on to other things.

I’m reminded of the “reason, season, lifetime” saying about relationships. Sometimes groups arise for a reason, or are with us for only a season. It’s OK to let go of experiences that are no longer serving us, redesign them to better meet our needs, or recommit with renewed intention or energy. A thoughtful inventory of what’s working and what’s not will most likely point you in the right direction.

But regardless, and separately, I hope you’ll tune back into your script and find your energy for it so you can see it across the finish line.

Happy writing!

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Submit your question to be answered anonymously via my online form here or email directly to askthecoach@calledtowrite.com. Look for answers to selected questions in my monthly “Ask the Coach” column on the third Thursday of the month. And reach out to me on Twitter to share your thoughts: @JennaAvery.