How Can I Stop Self-Doubt From Stopping Me?

Welcome to “Ask the Coach.” As a writing coach, I answer questions from writers about making the work of writing happen, tackling craft, business, and personal questions along the way. (Have a question you’d like answered? Check the details at the end of the article about how to submit one.)

Today I’m responding to a question from a reader about self-doubt.

Feeling like an impostor or not a “real” writer is tough. It can even feel like maybe you’re not allowed to pursue this career you want. But every writer starts out from not being a writer. Some start earlier, some later, but we all start somewhere.

Many writers think we can’t call ourselves writers until we are sold, optioned, hired, produced, or published, and stick words like “aspiring” in front of the word “writer” until reaching one of those states, almost as a way of atoning for the temerity in adopting the identity at all.

While those are important professional advancements, the primary criteria calling oneself a writer is writing, more or less regularly and consistently. (Though even the most established writers have periods of introspection and research between writing gigs and projects.)

Writing makes a writer.

Accordingly, one of the best antidotes to feeling like a writing impostor is to write regularly and to keep growing your strengths and skills as a writer.

For all that I see writing as a “calling” — that is, something you're drawn to do by an innate desire within you — I also see it as a profession. And when you treat writing professionally, you take it seriously, working at it in multiple areas at once — writing and creating, honing your craft, marketing, building your professional network, and more.

One of my early mentors used to say that “I am” is the most powerful phrase in the universe. I’m a believer. Claim, “I am a writer,” for yourself while also taking the actions to back it up. While you’re at it, connect with others who see you and know you as a writer. Seeing yourself as a writer and being seen as a writer will tame some of your inner doubts.

There’s also something useful about having doubts about ourselves as writers: We can lean on our insecurities in developing characters. No person, or character, is perfect. Understanding internally how difficult it is to wrestle with a personal challenge will help you create whole, vibrant characters, if you allow yourself to do so.

As far as being “good enough” goes, there’s an element of perfectionism implied in that phrase. And where does perfectionism come from? It often originates as a survival strategy in a challenging family of origin where the only way to receive approval is to Do Everything Right. Those of us who grew up in those toxic situations have learned to be constantly on guard for finding the right and wrong in everything, certain we’re most likely to get it wrong most of the time. ANY inkling of “wrong” can send us scurrying into not writing.

This is where working with a compassionate mentor who both believes in you and will help you develop your strengths and improve your weaknesses without casting any personal aspersions can help you break through the encasement of perfectionism, embrace your humanity and imperfections, and let them gloriously shine through in your writing.

In the end, a lot of this has to do with framing. What are you telling yourself about writing and about who you are as a writer, and is that story serving you? If not, tell a better story. Tell yourself you’re a writer who’s learning and growing, someone willing to stick with it and develop their skills, and a real, imperfect human being like the rest of us, doing the best they can.

Warmly,

Jenna

That’s a Wrap

If you also struggle with self-doubt and questioning, try on some ideas in this article and see if they fit. Write as regularly as you can, claim your identity as a writer with the words, “I am,” see your access to the challenges of being human as a tool for helping you develop deeper characters, and consider working with a compassionate mentor if you need help to get to the page.

Thank you for reading, and happy writing.

Screenwriters, what challenges do you run into that you'd love to see us address in our articles? Take our short survey here, submit your question to be answered anonymously via my online form here, or email me directly at askthecoach@calledtowrite.com. Look for answers to selected questions in my monthly “Ask the Coach” column on the third Thursday of the month.

Find me on Twitter @JennaAvery and Bluesky @jennaavery.bsky.social.