How Can I Focus On My Own Unique Voice?

Welcome to “Ask the Coach.” As a writing coach, I answer questions from writers about making the work of writing happen, tackling craft, business, and personal questions along the way. (Have a question you’d like answered? Check the details at the end of the article about how to submit one.)

Today I’m responding to a question about voice and comparison.

In the coaching world, there’s this phrase, “compare and despair,” which gets right to the heart of your question. It means that to invite comparison is to invite despair, aka feeling inadequate and inferior. There’s another related notion that goes something like this: When you compare, someone always loses. It might be you, it might be the other person, but either way, it doesn’t feel good, and it’s always a one-up, one-down situation.

Writing doesn’t have to be like that.

There’s room for a whole spectrum of styles of writing, even in screenwriting.

Part of being a writer is to develop and embrace your voice and style as much as possible. Why? It’s your best chance to stand out and be seen, to be talked about, and for your work to be shared. Readers and audiences like fresh takes, ideas, and voices.

At the same time, there’s something truly wonderful about reading other people’s work and being inspired by it. You may have to make a conscious choice to choose inspiration over despair, envy, or jealousy, but it’s worth the effort, because when you choose inspiration, you choose curiosity, growth, and learning.

Study the work you admire. (And reframe any negative feelings you have into admiration; again, it’s a conscious choice you’re making.) Parse the writing to understand what makes it work for you (and remember that it won’t work for everyone, most likely — not everyone likes everything and that’s to be expected). You may learn techniques and styles you want to react to or experiment with in your own work. You may also find techniques and styles you don’t want to explore.

Places writers feel inadequate or inferior fall into one of these two categories: 

1) Skills writers feel inspired to grow into.

2) Skills writers admire but feel disconnected from or unable to master. 

The first category might trigger a coach to say, “you spot it, you got it” — if you can see it and perceive it in someone else, it’s something you have the capability of developing. For example, you might read a script with a clean, terse writing style and realize you want be more efficient on the page. That’s something you can learn to do and enjoy.

In the second category, you might admire something, but it feels so outside your wheelhouse that it’s disconnected from you, like writing in a particular style of prose or metaphor that just doesn’t come naturally to you. There I’d remind you again of the spectrum of styles: you may be on a different part of the spectrum and in exactly your own right place, with no need to change.

How to tell which it is?

Which skills feel exciting? Lean into and explore those.

Which skills trigger more despair or fear? Give those a rest, at least for now.

Developing your own voice and style is ultimately what will serve you best in your writing years to come. There are lots of tips out there about how to do this, like, read a lot, write a lot, copy out work from people you admire, and more.

Here’s my two cents: Lean in, hard, to your own lived experience. This isn’t a “write what you know” comment, at least not exactly. It’s more this: My writing has come much more deeply alive since I became willing to lay out rich, powerful emotional moments and undercurrents on the page — sometimes incredibly painful to write — and to mine my personal experiences of love, pain, loss, grief, joy, and wonder for the stories I create.

I’ve also found that the more I let my natural voice come through on the page — little things I’d say in day-to-day life, even — the more fun I have and the more my stories feel like they’re truly mine and in my voice.

Remind yourself: You’re not inferior or inadequate. You are different, with your own stories to tell, in your own unique voice and style. That’s ultimately what makes your work special. 

Tell your stories. Do your best dance. Find your own style. Keep your eyes on your own paper. Admire the heck out of other writers, and learn from them. Always come home to who you are as a writer, what you believe, what you stand for, and how you put words on the page. Make it yours.

Warmly,

Jenna

If you find yourself comparing your work to someone else’s, see if you can shift from feeling inadequate or jealous to admiring, inspired, and curious. Learn what you can, then go back to your own work and see how you can make it even more your own.

Thank you for reading, and happy writing.

Screenwriters, what challenges do you run into that you'd love to see us address in our articles? Take our short survey here, submit your question to be answered anonymously via my online form here, or email me directly at askthecoach@calledtowrite.com. Look for answers to selected questions in my monthly “Ask the Coach” column on the third Thursday of the month.

Find me on Twitter @JennaAvery and Bluesky @jennaavery.bsky.social. 

This webinar is for writers who want to create compelling story arcs using popular characters from the past in a screenplay, a limited series, or episodic television projects.